Damsel in Distress
by LadyCordeliaStuart
Summary: An old enemy comes back to haunt Buffy through the people she loves.
1. Prologue

Buffy and Pike sat on a park bench, watching the sun go down. It was something they hadn't been able to do in quite a while, what with the roving packs of vampires and all. A dog barked in the distance, and Pike slid his arm around her protectively. Buffy just smiled and snuggled in. It was the thought that counted.

It had been seven days since the "incident" at Sunnydale High. Classes had resumed to give the students some sense of normality, but the remaining handful of students couldn't help but notice that half the students were dead or in detention or both.

Of course, Buffy had an even harder time than the others, since she was the reason both for the dead students and the live ones. She was the one who had staked dozens of former classmates, some of whom she'd hung out with in the past. She was the one who had dealt with that spaz vampire who took longer to die than the rest put together. Now _he _was totally mental. And then there was Lothos.

She still wasn't sure what to think about him. One moment he said he'd never hurt her, then he threw her across the room. What was his deal? Well, he was dead anyway. She drove the stake in herself and watched him crumple into dust. As for all that stuff about them belonging together, totally gross. Even if he was maybe a little cute, he was _way _too old for her.

"Buffy? You all right?" Pike asked. She realized she was staring into space.

"What? Oh, of course I'm all right," She said. She pulled him in for a kiss.

And everything _was _all right.


	2. Meanwhile

Amilyn was having a bad week. First there was the arm. He'd had that arm 1200 years and he was still a little sore about it. And then he got staked.

That strumpet Buffy. She just walked right in and staked him. He hadn't even been _doing _anything. Just minding his own business, and she staked him. Lucky for him he was Lothos' first kill. He couldn't be destroyed until his master was. So he'd put on a little show and she'd eaten it up. It really had hurt like a bitch though.

At least he'd gotten off better than Lothos. He was a pile of dust. Most people would think he was dead. Which he was, but he wasn't totally destroyed until the dust was scattered. Which it must not be, because Amilyn was still around.

And that's how he came to be lurking outside a high school waiting for the sun to set. It hadn't been easy to get there, either. He had to sneak out of a school crawling with cops and a Slayer. He had to lay low and try not to attract attention- people apparently have no compassion for a bone-white one armed guy wandering the streets at night- until all the coroners and riff-raff left the school. And now he was waiting for the sun to set so he could get what he needed.

Finally, it was dark enough, and he moved in. He'd already been invited, so there was no problem there. He roamed the halls, opening and shutting doors until he found the room he wanted.

It was a broom closet. A dingy mop leaned against a wall next to a shelf full of squirt bottles and sponges. In the other corner was a skinny upright vacuum cleaner. Amilyn grabbed the vacuum and tore the top of the bag open. Inside were a few feathers, some cereal, assorted fuzzy stuff, and a paper clip. And lots of dust.

Getting the ashes back to the coffin was easy enough. The hard part was finding a virgin in Los Angeles. As it turned out, the third time was the charm. After he found a mark, tied her up, and hoisted her up over the coffin (which was not easy to do with one hand), he slit her throat. As the blood hit the now rather moist and soupy pile of dust and debris, it started to fizz. Then it spread out into silhouette of a man. It bubbled up thickly, gaining dimension until a fully formed and very annoyed looking man sat looking up at Amilyn. He regally brushed a few feathers, some cereal, and assorted fuzzy stuff off his chest.

"It's payback time," Lothos said.


	3. The Plot Thickens

Pike was nearly aglow as he parked his bike and swaggered into his apartment. He'd just dropped Buffy off at her house (and received a lovely goodnight kiss) and now he was ready for a night of… well, probably doing nothing. It would be better doing nothing with Buffy, but she was a good girl. Unfortunately.

He flipped on the light and plopped onto his ratty couch, which he'd thriftily found in a dumpster. Not only was it already broken in, but it also served as an anti-theft device. Anyone who saw that thing would know this place wasn't worth his time.

He turned on the TV and half-heartedly flipped through the channels. Nothing as good as Buffy was on.

_Enough moping, already. _Pike thought. _There is more to life than Buffy, though she is a knockout. There _are_ motorcycles, all your other friends she didn't stake, food…_

Food. Now there was an idea. Might as well get something to tide him over until it was midnight snack time. He went to the fridge and started assembling the type of sandwich only a bachelor could eat: leftover crusty pieces of bread, bologna, leftover chicken, mayonnaise and mustard, olives, and various other things that didn't smell too icky. He grabbed a bag of chips to go with it and slumped back onto the couch.

As Pike started to realize that late night professional wrestling was far more interesting than he'd ever guessed, the doorbell rang.

_Who could that be this late? _Pike thought. _Not Benny, he's dead. Really dead. Did I forget to pay the electric bill? No, the TV still works. Oh… hold it. It's Buffy, isn't it? She wants another helping of the Pike-man! Well, for _her _I'm open 24 hours._

He leapt up and brushed some crumbs off his pants. "Come in!" He called as he went to open the door.

What greeted him wasn't Buffy. But it _was _a knockout.

Buffy POV

Buffy sat on her bed, studiously pretending to study. She was still wearing her riding jacket, since it was totally slimming. She glanced up at the clock, not bothering to actually read the time.

_Well, no use staying up all night studying. Don't you have to sleep, like, nine hours a night or whatever anyway? I'm just being a good student._

As she unzipped her jacket to change into her pajamas, she noticed she was still wearing the flannel shirt Pike had given her earlier when she'd pretended to be cold. It smelled like asphalt and leather, just like Pike- so manly.

_Oh, shoot! _Buffy thought. _Guess I'll have to give it back tomorrow. Or maybe never._

_ Hold on… what if I just went over tonight and offered it back? Wouldn't Pike like to see me so late. He might even say for a kiss or two I could keep it._

It wasn't that far to Pike's apartment, even if he did live on the other side of the tracks. Good thing Buffy's mom was totally oblivious or she'd go ballistic.

_Ugh, such a bachelor pad. _Buffy thought as she reached Pike's door. _This place needs a woman's touch._

She knocked on the door. There was no answer.

"Hey, Earth to Pike!" She called out. Still no answer.

She grabbed the doorknob and twisted. The door was open.

_Pike should be more careful. You never know what kind of freaks are around._

A disaster area met Buffy as she stepped inside. A coffee table in front of the couch was upended. A lamp lay smashed against a wall. A couch cushion flopped in the middle of the floor. And there was mayonnaise, lunch meat, bread, and olives scattered across the apartment.

_What on earth? Did he have a rave here? _Buffy thought. _And where is he? Did he go home with some girl? I'll KILL that skank!_

It was then that she noticed a note placed neatly on the upended table. It was handwritten in regal Gothic script.

_My lovely Buffy,_

_You knew you wouldn't be rid of me that easy. And I know you're eager to meet me, so I'll be at the cemetery. Your inferior paramour will be there as well. Don't worry, he's unharmed as yet. I await your presence._

_ Lothos_

_Oh, heinous._


	4. Showdown

As heinous as Buffy was feeling, Pike was feeling worse. Not only was he definitely _not _making time with Buffy, he was stuck in a mausoleum with a very pissed off one-armed vampire. And he didn't have any arms at the moment, since he was tied up on the floor. Which just seems like adding insult to injury, since he was already a wimpy mortal.

Speaking of the pissed off vampire, he was patrolling around and occasionally snarling menacingly. At least he was trying to, but the stump really ruined the image. It made him look lopsided.

"Not so big now, are you?" Stumpy vampire sneered.

"_What?" _Pike said. "You're like wicked strong and I'm just down here chilling. When was I _ever _so big? Oh, and I dig the one-armed look. You must have gotten into some fight."

Stumpy Vampire growled as he grabbed Pike by the shirt and threw him across the room. He stumbled as his newly asymmetrical body shifted so suddenly.

Pike landed against the opposite wall, which knocked most of the breath out of him. But he had a little bit left.

"Hey gimp, you might wanna check with your boss first. He might not want to damage the goods."

Stumpy Vampire pulled Pike upright against the wall and leaned into him.

"He said you had to be alive. He said nothing about how many arms you have to have."

Buffy POV

Buffy was off for the cemetery as fast as a girl could humanly go. She did have to grab a _few _things, after all. She was wearing her riding jacket- a little extra protection never hurt.

Los Angeles is a big city, and a lot of people die there. As a result, "the cemetery", in this case Sunnydale Memorial, was a big place. At first Buffy was worried, but then she saw the humongous, ornately carved mausoleum surrounded by statues.

_Well, that's the place. Anyone who dresses like Lothos has an eye for style. _Buffy thought as she approached. She stopped at the thick stone door. No need to go charging in without a plan. She put her ear to the door and listened. She didn't hear anything, so either there weren't many people in there or the door was really thick. Or they were just really quiet. Well, she had to go in eventually. She stepped back and opened the door at arm's length, ready to react if anything sprung out.

Nothing sprung out. As it turned out, Lothos was not interested in subtlety. He was stretched out on the stone coffin holder, playing his violin.

_Always that stupid violin. Is he trying to be romantic or something? He's whacked._

Lothos looked up gracefully as Buffy entered, finished the last few notes of his song, and regally swept himself up.

"Buffy. I'm so glad you could make it," he said with a smirk.

"Where's Pike?" Buffy demanded.

"So impatient," Lothos replied. He stalked forward slowly as he talked. "Forget him. Isn't it odd that you always seem to be drawn back to me?"

"I wouldn't have been if you hadn't kidnapped my boyfriend," Buffy said. She glanced over her shoulder to clear an escape path.

"Admit it, Buffy. He's not enough for you. You need someone who can match you and tame you." Lothos said.

"Tame me? Aren't women supposed to be, like, liberated? I'll show you tame." Buffy said. She reached into her pocket, popped the top off a vial and tossed some genuine holy water in Lothos' face.

Lothos had wicked reflexes. She had to give him that. He hopped back and threw up an arm, so it missed it face, but an armful of holy water still isn't a picnic for vampires. He hissed and bared his fangs at her.

"You want it rough, slut?" He growled. Buffy ignored him and grabbed one of the stakes hanging off her belt. Lothos was still close enough to tackle her, and the stake went flying as Buffy was thrown to the ground.

"So eager to fight your soulmate?" Lothos purred as Buffy tried to squirm away.

"Bug off," Buffy said. She slammed the heel of her hand against his nose. He yelped and rolled away reflexively. Buffy kicked him off the rest of the way and grabbed another stake even as she was scrambling up. She slammed the stake down, knowing that Lothos' heart wasn't accessible but also knowing that a stake through the hand will ruin anyone's day.

Lothos howled what might have been an epithet. It was hard to tell through the smashed nose and the blood running into his mouth. Buffy was readying another stake when she heard a noise.

It was coming from the next room over. Apparently this was some kind of Beverly Hills luxury crypt, since it had a back room and everything. It was a dull thump. Buffy leapt out of Lothos' reach and listened. The last thing she wanted to deal with was more bloodsuckers.

Another thump followed, and then a pained yell. Buffy shot across the room and hauled the door open.

That wasn't a vampire, and Lothos could wait. She had a boyfriend to save.


	5. Chekhov's Violin

"Pike!" Buffy called as she burst through the door.

"Buffy! Are you okay?" Pike answered. He was somewhat muffled, since he was being smashed into the ground by Amilyn, who was trying to twist off his arm without untying it.

"What do you mean-_you," _she said, glaring at Amilyn. He snarled back at her.

"Get away from him, you little disease," Buffy said.

"What are you gonna do about it, princess?" Amilyn said.

"If you're still there in a few seconds you're gonna find out," Buffy said. She advanced toward Pike.

Amilyn sullenly slunk a few steps back. Buffy knelt warily and untied Pike. He sprang up and stood protectively between her and Amilyn.

"What are you doing here?" Pike said. "I had this. You didn't have to get all freaked out."

"Pike, of course I'm going to come save your butt. You're my _boyfriend," _Buffy said.

There was a noise in the next room. Buffy jerked around and shielded Pike with an arm.

"Hold on a sec. I gotta take care of that," she said.

Meanwhile, as soon as she wasn't looking, Amilyn started stalking forward. Pike glared at him and put up his fists.

"Don't worry, Buffy, I got your back," He said.

Buffy walked into the main room to see Lothos standing regally without a drop of blood on him.

_Was he just standing here preening while he waited for me? _She thought._ Oh my god, he smoothed his hair…_

"All right, let's get this over with," She said. She pulled another stake out of her belt. They circled each other.

"Such passion," Lothos said. "It should last forever."

"Look, would you just shut up?" Buffy said. She brought the stake down toward his heart.

Lothos stepped aside and grabbed her hand. He pivoted sharply and threw her across the room. She smashed into the stone coffin and flipped over it. She yelped and leapt to her feet just as Lothos slammed into her and forced her against the wall. He bared his teeth and bent forward as Buffy brought up one knee and slammed her foot down against his. He stepped back instinctively and she seized the chance to shove him back farther and dart to the middle of the room.

She grabbed the last stake on her belt and paused. Obviously things were going nowhere so far, and she really wanted to get this over with and make out with Pike. Meanwhile, furious banging and yelps were emanating from the next room, making it harder to concentrate.

Lothos seemed entirely unfazed by the racket. He swept grandly around the coffin cover and approached Buffy. She crouched into a fighting stance and prepared for a killing blow.

Just then a particularly loud and pained squawk came from the back room. Buffy turned.

"Pike?" She called worriedly. Instantly Lothos drew back one arm and backhanded her so hard it knocked her sideways off her feet. Her last stake flew the other way and rolled against the wall.

Buffy lay on the ground in a daze. _What? _Was the only coherent thought she could form. Before she could even sit up, Lothos grabbed her by the collar and hauled her upright. She fumbled at her pockets for more holy water, but he grabbed her arm and pinned her, bent backwards, against the stone slab.

"Enough waiting," he purred into her ear. "It's time." He bared his fangs, pulled down her collar, and bit into a very large genuine silver necklace. A lady does have to grab a _few _things, after all.

Lothos' eyes flew open as he reared back with a shriek. He staggered and his hands flew to his mouth, which was pouring smoke. Meanwhile, Buffy grabbed the closest thing handy: a wood and glass violin. Which was right where Lothos had left it, on the other end of the slab.

She slammed the violin against Lothos' head like a baseball bat. Its body shattered and Lothos stumbled a step. Buffy stuck the broken handle straight into Lothos' heart.

Lothos straightened up and stared at Buffy in dismay. He clutched at the handle sticking out of his chest.

"You never get tired of that, do you?" He said. Then he collapsed to the ground and curled up under his cape.

Buffy lifted it up, even though she knew what would be there. Sure enough, it was a pile of dust. She wasn't about to fall for _that _again, though. But first, she had to check on Pike.

She ran into the next room to see Pike sitting on Amilyn's chest, holding his remaining hand and punching him repeatedly in the face with it.

"Buffy!" Pike called when he saw her. "How's all the slaying and buttkicking stuff going?"

"Here, grab a stake," She called. She grabbed the nearest stake off the ground and tossed it to Pike. "Why don't you handle this one?"

"Go ahead and try," Amilyn snarled defiantly. "As long as Lothos is around you're out of luck."

"Lothos is a pile of dust," Buffy said.

Amilyn looked down and realized that his lower half was also dust.

"Oh, sh-" he managed before the rest of him followed.

Pike got up and swept Buffy up in a kiss.

"Thanks for coming," He said. "Now let's get out of here."

"Hold on," Buffy said. "I already had to stake that creep twice. I want to be sure this time."

"How'd he even come back?" Pike asked.

"I don't know. He's, like, _dust. _There's not much more I can do. Wait- I have an idea."

She scooped up a handful of Lothos dust and took it outside. There was a slight breeze. She tossed the dust into the wind and watched it drift away. Pike grabbed another handful and they continued until Lothos was quite literally scattered to the winds.

"Let's see him come back from _that,_" Buffy said.


End file.
